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WOMAN - AN ANALYSIS
Atomic mass: Accepted as 53.6 kg, may vary from 40 -200 kg
Occurrence: Copious quantities in all inhabited areas
- 1. Surface usually covered in painted film
- 2. Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason
- 3. Melts if given special treatment
- 4. Bitter if incorrectly used
- 5. Found in various states, ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
- 6. Yields to pressure applied at correct points
- 1. Has great affinity for gold, silver and a range of precious stones.
- 2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
- 3. May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no reason
- 4. Insoluble in liquids, but activity greatly increases by saturation in alcohol
- 5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man
- 1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
- 2. Can be a great aid to relaxation
- 3. Very effective cleaning agent
- 1. Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state
- 2. Turns green when placed beside a better specimen
- 1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
- 2. Illegal to posses more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do no come into direct contact with each other.
WARNING: PROLONGED EXPOSURE TO THIS ELEMENT CAN CAUSE SEVERE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, AND FINANCIAL DAMAGE!