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My older brother and I had a pretty good relationship. Pretty normal. He bossed me around sometimes, but wouldn't let anyone else.

I was a pretty normal kid. Had friends, did stuff with them, got okay grades. Nothing special.

Until I turned thirteen, and all I could think about was boys.

When I was twelve, my older brother showed me how to find pictures of naked girls on the internet. Back then videos were rare and behind pay walls. How far we've come. I was jerking off to porn pics by thirteen. I also had a few pubes around the base by thirteen. Nothing much. I came by then, too. Also, not much, but it was awesome as far as I was concerned. I'd seen the big messes of white stuff in the porn pics, but I made a much smaller mess of mostly clear stuff. It felt good enough, that's for sure!

When I was about thirteen, I found some pictures on a couple sites that didn't have any girls in them. Just guys. I was hooked, and I knew it. I liked dicks and balls.

Pretty soon I slid a finger in my ass. Experimentally. It made for a really great orgasm! Then it became two fingers. Then three. Eventually, all four. I'd pretend it was some hot dude's big dick, and finger-fuck myself as I beat off. I loved it!

Just after my brother turned sixteen, and I was fourteen, our folks got him an old car. He also had to get a part-time job to pay for gas and insurance and repairs. He was hardly ever home after that. I got to use the computer a lot. I was putting about anything up my ass that would fit. And bigger and bigger things fit. I needed bigger and bigger things. At first it was the old bathroom plunger's handle. Then a rake handle. By the time my bro came home drunk one night, I was using the fat end of a half-size souvenir baseball bat that was thicker than my dick and probably thicker than most older guys' dicks.

He was almost seventeen, I was almost fifteen, when he came home one weekend night totally fucked up. He was supposed to be out with his friends and their dates, and then stay over at one their places for the night. Without the girls, of course.

He had secretly told me they were actually going to drink beers and then do it. Him and his girlfriend. The other guys and their girls, too. Supposedly.

Anyway, instead of staying over at his friend's house, he came home. Drunk. Really drunk. Really late. He managed to sneak in and upstairs and past our sleeping folks' room, but I saw him go past my door. I decided to go tease him about being home and probably not getting any pussy. Hey, we're brothers, it's what we do.

He was so sloshed that he just waved me off and stumbled to his bedside.

"How drunk are you?" I asked.

"Totally!" he laughed quietly. "Like, totally smashed!'

He was! He slurred and even had trouble getting his jacket off. Then he fell on his bed.

"So, how was the big date? Get any?"

He laughed into the bed, then said, "Fuck no! Prick tease!"

"Ha-ha! You got blue balls!" I laughed as I sat down on the bed next to him. This was going to be fun!

He grabbed me by the shirt and pushed me onto the bed. He got on top of me, then stayed there. I wondered if he was going throw up on me! He sure looked like it!

But he just looked at me, all kind of funny.

"Go close my door, then come back here," he said, and pushed me off his bed.

"Okay."

I figured I was gonna get a sexy story about touching boobs or something. I closed his door and sat on his bed. He pushed me onto my back again. Then he got on top of me. He pulled my shirt off.

"What the hell?" I asked, grabbing at it.

"Shut up. You're gonna like this," he told me.

"Like what?"

"What you do with that little baseball bat," he told me.

Did he know? No way!

Then he started pulling my sweatpants down.

"What the fuck?" I asked, grabbing at my sweats.

He put one hand over my mouth, told me to be quiet, then let go of my mouth, rolled me onto my front, then yanked my sweats all the way off.

For real!

I tried to look over my shoulder to see what he was doing, to be sure, but he pushed my head back around and my face into the bed.

Okay, to be totally honest, I'm pretty sure I wasn't trying to look to make sure he was actually going to do what I thought he was going to, it was more to see his cock.

He moved around some more, and then got on top of me again. He spread my butt cheeks with his hand, and then spit in between my cheeks.

"No way!" I said, trying to get out from under him.

He was way stronger than me and it was easy for him to keep me down on the bed.

And, to be totally honest again, I wasn't really trying too hard to get away. I was more just surprised this was really happening. And I didn't want to seem like I wanted it to.

And then I felt him pushing his dick up between my cheeks! For real! He was really going to fuck me!

Nothing like it ever happened again. Though he did let on that he knew about the gay pics I was looking at on the computer, and about what I did when I was looking at those pics. He showed me how to delete the browser history. Later, much later, he even told me he knew I was gay.