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My dad died when I was two, and I was raised as an only child. Mom was strict but loving. By the time I was eleven, I acted more like a girl than a boy. I didn't know it then, had no idea, but when I see myself in old home movies from when I was a kid, I was one big sissy. Almost my every movement and gesture screamed 'GIRLY-BOY!'

I had golden-blond, curly hair and blue eyes. I was small-statured and slight of build - I inherited that from my dad as well as my mom. I was small for my age and skinny. I was taking piano lessons, and was pretty good. And I was smart. And painfully shy. I had no friends. Some guys talked to me in school, other dorks and music geeks, but that was all, and only at school.

I spent my free time playing in my yard, mostly running around and pretending I was playing war or cowboys and Indians with lots of friends. Alone. I'd hide behind the big trees in my yard, or the garage, and shoot around the corner at imagined foes. Sometimes I kicked the ball against the garage for hours. When the weather was bad, I'd read inside on my bed. Mostly fiction about spacemen and monsters.

Playing in my front yard was risky, but the several trees were fun to run from, one to the other, pretending to duck and dodge incoming fire from the space aliens or the bad guys. More than once, Billy and Terry walked by, or rode their bikes past and saw me. They were both older than me and lived on the same block. They were best friends with each other, and they both loved to pick on me. Seeing those old home movies, I can see why. They liked to call me a girly-boy. Gays weren't as well-known back then

At eleven, I had no sexual references. I knew boys and girls were different, and when we got old enough we could make babies, and that boys and girls could fall in love, and such things. But I wasn't interested in any of that. It was all below my radar.

So, one summer day, when I was eleven and in sixth grade, and while mom was at work, I was playing in the front yard, ducking ray-gun fire, running tree to tree. It was hot on Venus, and fighting the evil Venusians was hard work, so I took a break and sat on the steps of the temple I was defending and leaned back to rest.

Someone kicked my foot. I sat up. It was Billy and Terry. I pulled my feet up and began worrying, and getting scared. They were both at least two or three years older than me, and in junior high.

"Hi, girly-boy," Billy said, and kicked my foot again, but harder.

"He'd make such a good girl. Pretty hair and pretty eyes," Terry said.

They smiled, but I didn't like their smiles at all.

"Ever see how much of a girl's butt he's got?" Billy asked Terry.

"Yeah. I bet he don't even have a peter."

"Do too," I said.

I regretted it instantly. I knew I should have kept my mouth shut, and if I said anything, it should have been to call for my mom as if she were home.

"Yeah, right. Bet you pee sitting down, don't ya, girly-boy?"

"No."

"Sure ya do. Probably gonna get tits this year," Terry said, making them both laugh.

"Go away."

I curled up tighter, wrapping my arms around my knees.

"No. Why don't you show us your girl's butt?" Billy said, kicking my foot again.

"No."

"Awww, come on, girly Wally. Show us your girly butt, and maybe we'll leave you alone."

"I don't have a girly butt."

I did, actually. The only part of me that wasn't skinny was my ass. In those old home movies, it was clearly very full and rounded. Sometimes mom couldn't afford new jeans for a while, and as they got tighter, my butt showed off more and more. There's one home movie taken in the back yard later that summer, with my two cousins who were visiting with their folks. Big, round, full ass in tight, worn jeans, and even at eleven, I had a package out front.

"Sure ya do. Big ol' girl's butt. Better than Alicia's, even," Billy said, kicking my foot again. "Come on, show us, and we'll leave you alone. Promise."

I knew you don't trust a bully when he says 'Trust me.'

"No. Leave me alone."

"Just stand up and turn around once. Then we'll leave you alone."

"No you won't."

"Do it, or we'll pound you," Billy said, then kicked my foot hard enough that it hurt.

"Just stand up and turn around and face the house. Then we'll go," Terry said.

I knew they would kick me in my ass. Or push me down and pound on me. Something. But I hoped that would be all. It would be better than them beating me up face-to-face.

So, I stood up, then turned away from them.

"That's a girl's butt," Billy said.

"No kiddin'. Look at that," Terry said.

I waited for the kick, or the punch to my back. It didn't come. But a hand came around and over my mouth, and another around my chest. And then Terry came around in front of me and picked up my feet. Then they carried me behind the house.

"Over there, between the garage and the fence," Billy said.

They carried me that way. I was skinny and small, and they were big, even for their ages, and they easily carried me to the dark, narrow space between the garage and the high wooden fence.

"We're gonna have a good look at that butt of yours," Billy said when we got into the shade-filled space. "If you yell or anything, we're both gonna punch you in the kidneys. Got me?"

I nodded. He let go of my mouth and grabbed both of my arms. Terry dropped my feet and then grabbed my head. They forced me to bend at my waist until my head was between Terry's thighs. He clamped them down on both sides of my head. I couldn't hear them clearly now, only muffled laughs and words. Terry took my arms, and Billy started undoing my jeans. I was terrified. Then he pulled them down. He rubbed my butt through my shorts. He slapped it. He pinched it. I could hear their muffled laughter. Then he took down my shorts.

I could hear them laughing and talking, but my own whimpering and breathing was much louder. Billy rubbed my butt. It tickled some, but I'd never felt so scared in my life. Or humiliated. Or worried.

Then everything sort of changed. Billy touched my asshole. I think it was his finger. I'm pretty sure it was. The tingle was... new. Strange. Weird. Scary. And... good.

Then he took his finger away, and when it came back, it felt wet. And then it slipped into me. That was shocking!

Why would a boy put his finger in another boy's butt? Gross!

But... it felt good. It tickled. It sort of stung. It tingled.

He pushed it in, then pulled it out, then pushed it back in. Over and over. And he rubbed me inside.

It was... I liked it. I'd never thought of such a thing, and never could have suspected that it would feel so... good. Neat. Tingly and tickly. And just... good. And it was making my willy bigger and super tingly.

Then he stopped. I hoped he wasn't done. I hoped maybe Terry was going to take a turn now.

Then his finger came back. But it was bigger, somehow. I thought maybe he had used his little finger that first time, and now he was using a bigger finger. But it felt different. Bigger, but softer. And bumpier. And it hurt. Then I felt his body against my butt cheeks and both of his hands on my hips.

No way! I thought in shock. NO WAY!

Then he started doing what I knew boys did to girls, but to me.

I felt a huge tingle in my dick, besides the ones that started up in my bottom. Then my whole stomach was full of those awesome tingles.

I think I sort of went all spacey for a while. Almost like I was floating. There was only the awesome tingles all over me, and the feeling of his dick going in and out of my butthole.

It was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Better than the roller coasters at the park. Better than riding my cousins' horses. Better than anything.

When I noticed that I was holding onto Terry's legs, I wanted to feel his butt. I was afraid to. But I wanted to. So as Billy fucked me, and I moved each time he slammed his hips against my ass, I slid my hands up Terry's legs a little bit at a time. It was, I guess, sexy. I could feel his thighs, then the sides of his butt. Then I moved my hands toward each other, and I was holding onto his butt.

That tingling in my dick got stronger and better. It was almost as nice as what my hole felt like with Billy's dick sliding in and out of it. I started really feeling Terry's butt. It was nice! I liked doing that a lot.

I hoped Billy never got tired, and Terry liked what I was doing. I hoped it never ended.

But it did. When Billy didn't come back inside of me after pulling it out, I felt so lonely. Empty.

Terry stepped back, freeing my head, and I dropped my hands. I got ready for the beating. Then I saw Billy shoes in front of me, and felt his legs go around my head. Then I felt what had to be Terry's dick pushing against my hole, then going inside me. Terry felt smaller than Billy. He was shorter, too. But he felt good, too.

I put my hands on Billy's butt. I felt it as Terry fucked me. Terry wasn't as good at it. He fell out a lot more often, and he didn't move as smooth and nicely. He didn't feel as big, either.

That didn't matter much, though. It was still very good. I liked it. A lot. Very, very much.

Terry tried going too fast, or something. He fell out often, and didn't go as deep or something. Billy was just better. And Billy's butt was nicer, too. Bigger and fuller and rounder, and I liked how it felt much more than Terry's.

I was so sad when Terry stopped. Billy stepped away from my head and I could hear them now.

"I know. That was... really fun!"

"Told you," Billy said.

I stood up and pulled up my shorts and jeans. I saw my dick was huge! It was sticking out and had to be twice as long as usual. It tingled like mad! I wanted to touch it, but not in front of them. I fastened my jeans and turned around. They were looking at me, smiling.

"Liked it, didn't ya, Wally?" Billy asked.

I nodded. I was ashamed and embarrassed and horrified. And very excited.

"Told ya," Billy said, elbowing Terry.

They smiled even wider. I looked down at my shoes.

"You gonna tell your mommy?" Billy asked.

"No."

"Why not?"

I shrugged. I didn't know why, but I wasn't going to. I didn't even know what I would tell her, anyway.

"If you don't tell her, we'll come do it again. You want that?"

I nodded. I really did. I'd loved it. I couldn't wait for it again.

"Will you do whatever I say?" Billy asked.

I nodded.

"Prove it."

He stepped up in front of me. I looked up at his face. He was smiling.

"Get on your knees."

I did.

"Open my zipper."

I did. The tingles grew in my stomach and dick again.

"Open the button."

I did. The tingles got even stronger.

"Push 'em down. Shorts, too."

I did. His dick popped out. It was beautiful. I'd never seen one before. My own, sure, but I'd never paid it any attention. Looking at Billy's hard dick was just awesome. It made me tingle all over, inside and out. It made my breath catch.

The hole in the end of it was dark red, and there were little spots of what I knew was my shit on the red head. His foreskin was bundled up just over the edges of his head and were puffy and red, with more little flecks of my shit. I could smell it, too. I decided to wipe even better from now on. There was maybe a dozen scraggly hairs at the base, and his ballsack was weird looking. It sort of hung from him a little, like baggy sack, and his balls were as big as marbles.

"Put it in your mouth."

"Gross, Bill," Terry said.

I looked at him for a moment. He looked surprised and grossed out.

"You're not really gonna make him, are ya?"

"Put it in your mouth," Billy said again.

I leaned forward and ignored the smell, and put his dick in my mouth. I tasted bitter shit.

"Suck on it."

I did. The taste got stronger. I didn't like it, but there was something really thrilling about having his dick in my mouth.

"Suck it!"

I sucked harder.

"Yeah. Like that. Suck my dick."

I did. It was thrilling!

I slapped my hands onto his butt and shoved my face against his belly.

"Yeah! Go Wally!" Billy said.

He started fucking my mouth.

"Oh, yeah!... Like that!... Fuck!... Suck me!"

He started slamming his body against my face. I loved it.

"Make your tongue push up against it. Like that. Yeah!"

His cock slid over my tongue. I felt his foreskin and the bottom of his head moving along my tongue. It felt so good. He was crushing my nose each time he slammed forward, and I felt his balls hitting my chin.

"Fuck... like... that... don't... move..." he said, one word with each thrust into my mouth. "Fuckin'... great... Wally... don't... stop... that's... fuckin'... awesome... shit... fucking.... great... shit... I... I'm... I... think... I'm... gonna... God... fuckin'... gonna... oh... shit!... gonna... yes!... ahhhh... yes!... oh... shit!"

Then he shoved his dick all the way into my mouth and held there, crushing my nose against his pubes so that I couldn't breathe.

"Fuck! I'm fuckin' shootin'! Fuuuck!"

His dick was sort of worming around in my mouth. Like it was a live snake. He was holding my head so tightly against his belly that I still couldn't breathe. The muscles of his butt here hard, but quivering. I think his whole body was shivering. And then I tasted something kind of salty, something thick that felt a little slimy. I had no choice but to swallow.

Then he suddenly pulled his dick out of my mouth and stumbled backward, almost falling on his ass. He was panting and red-faced, and shaking all over.

"I fucking shot off, man!" he said, grinning at Terry.

He looked down at his dick. It was purple on the head now. He touched it, and it jumped like mad. He jerked all over and laughed.

"Billy said. "Fuckin' felt like the best thing I ever felt!" Billy was leaning against the garage now, breathing hard and smiling. He looked at me and said, "Now do Terry."

I started toward him on my knees. When I got to him, I reached out and undid his button, then his zipper, and then pushed his jeans and undershorts down to his knees. His dick wasn't as big as Billy's, shorter and thinner, about the size of a roll of quarters. There were no hairs at the base, and his ballsack looked smaller and rounder, his balls barely visible. The foreskin covered his head and came to a point. I put my fingers on it and slid his foreskin back. His head was dark red and his hole was larger than Billy's.

I leaned forward and put it in my mouth. I tasted my shit again. That didn't matter. It was a huge thrill to have a dick in my mouth again. I put my tongue under it, grabbed his butt, pushed my face against his belly, and sucked.

"Ooooh!"

His hands grabbed the sides of my head.

"Oh, man!"

I felt his dick with my tongue, feeling what it felt like. It was so smooth and velvety and soft, but was so hard inside. His head was just the most perfectly smooth thing I'd ever felt in my mouth.

"Holy cow!"

"Fuck his mouth," Billy said.

He started moving his hips, sliding his dick across my tongue and in and out between my lips. I sucked like crazy.

"Oh, shit!"

He started ramming his dick into my mouth. Sometimes he pulled back so far he pulled it out, but he shoved it right back in. He scraped his cock across my teeth more than once. He didn't like that and told me to stop doing it. I wasn't doing it, he was, but I didn't argue.

I liked how his butt muscles worked under my hands. I loved the feel of his dick in my mouth and on my tongue. I would have laughed if my mouth wasn't full. He grunted with almost every push of his hips. He held tightly onto the sides of my head, fucking my mouth for a long time.

Then, "Oh, man... I think... shit... it tickles!"

"Keep going, Ter. Keep going!"

"Shit!... It tickles! I think I gotta piss!"

"You're not gonna piss, man! You're gonna cum! Keep going!"

"Awww... awww... shit!"

His dick danced in my mouth. I paid closer attention this time. I thought maybe I tasted something salty come out of his dick. Maybe a little something that was kind of slimy as his dick moved like an inchworm. He pushed it all the way in, crushing my nose against his belly. He pulled my head up against him. He held me there, his body kind of trembling, his dick jumping and bending.

Then, "Fuck!" and he shoved me away.

I fell on my ass. He looked like he was in pain for a second, then exhaled really loudly and covered his dick and balls with both hands and smiled at Billy.

"That was..."

"Pretty awesome, huh?"

"Fuck, yeah it was!"

He laughed and then looked at his dick. It was dark purple on the head, all shiny. He pulled the foreskin over the end of it and shivered and grunted. He looked really, really happy. He looked at me and smiled. Then he pulled his pants and undershorts back up and fastened his jeans and then zipped them up.

He leaned over with his hands on his knees and breathed hard for a bit, then stood up and went, "Woof!"

I was still sitting on my ass, knees up, hands on the ground behind me, leaning back on my arms. I knew I was smiling. I tingled all over, especially my dick.

Billy squatted in front of me and looked right at me.

"You liked doing that, huh?"

I nodded. I smiled, and I didn't care.

"You wanna again tomorrow?"

I nodded.

"How about we come over at the same time. And we go in your room?"

I nodded.

"Good. As long as you don't tell anybody, we'll keep doing it. Okay?'

"Okay."

"You promise you won't tell?" Terry asked.

"Cross my heart."

I did.

"You really liked doing that? All of it? Even being fucked?" Terry asked.

I nodded as big as I could.

"Tomorrow we'll do it the other way around. So you don't have to suck shitty dicks. Okay?" Billy asked.

I nodded. I would suck shitty dicks again, but I was sort of glad they would be clean tomorrow. I couldn't wait!

"You know how to beat if off?" Billy asked.

I'd heard the words before, but I didn't know what it meant. I shook my head.

"Well, tomorrow I'll teach you, okay?"

I nodded at him, still smiling.

"You really won't tell?" Terry asked again.

"No. I won't. I really won't. I promise."

"He won't, because he likes it. He wants to again. Don't you?" Billy said, still squatting in front of me.

"Yeah."

"See?" Billy said, looking at Terry. "He's a girly-boy."

He looked back at me, smiling.

"He's a good girly-boy," Billy said, smiling nicely at me. "Now he's our girly-boy."

I have no explanation as to why I liked being raped at eleven. I can only tell you that I enjoyed the sensations and the experience. I can only tell you that after that first time, I began to think about sex and in sexual ways, and that I began playing with myself and enjoying it, and that I very much liked it when Billy and Terry had me. I especially liked it when they were rough, or mean, or hurt me a little. I remember the first time that Billy was angry at something, and took it out on me. He hit me, beating me as he fucked me, and I had my first orgasm. It was dry, of course, but those incredible sensations exploded through me as he fucked me forcibly and punched my back and sides. He didn't hit me all that hard, but it was enough that the danger and pain got me off for the first time. I was barely twelve.

We never became friends, but I would suck them and then they would fuck me almost every day until Billy got caught joyriding in a stolen car in 1968 and was sent to a boys school. Terry didn't come over after that, and we didn't talk to each other. I sold my ass and blow-jobs at truck stops. I stayed away from drugs and booze. Mom died right after I graduated high school. I sold her house, kept her car, and moved. I went to college, got a decent job, and fell in love. I had a few lovers, and a few fuck-buddies. I'm with a great guy now, going on our seventh year together.

A few years ago, I found Billy's name on the list of dead at the boys school. He'd died less than a year after being sent there. I found Terry's address, and sent him a letter. He didn't reply, so I stopped by, to see if he had moved. There were kids' bikes and toys in the yard. He slammed the door in my face when I told him who I was.